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When things go bad...

I don't understand how minute I can be so happy and carefree, but the next it's like the world is crashing down around me. It's getting way too hard to try and keep up with all of these ups and downs. I can't deal with this and I don't know how much longer I can cope with things. At least not with how things are right now. For me, I know that things have gotten bad when I decide by myself that now is the time to go and see the doctors. Going to the doctors is such a big thing for me to be able to do. This time around it took me a month to finally build up the courage to actually go and see a doctor. Honestly, I probably wouldn't be as bad if I would just go to the doctors as soon as I realise I need to. Like if I went straight away, I wouldn't have made myself feel so worthless for as long as I have been.
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Honestly

I don't know what I've done to deserve this behaviour,  I thought you were my friends, the ones, my saviours. Now I don't know who to believe and who to trust,  My faith in everyone has gone, turned into dust.  But I don't think you've realised what you've all done,  You've made me feel like the worthless one.  The one who can be kicked, shamed and ignored,  You turned on me, threw me out the door.  I don't know why, but you still make me cry,  make me feel things like wanting to die.  But I'm better than you and I will get through this,  It might take a few weeks, a month, a year, but you can carry on taking the mick. But I will rise again and again, it's what I do now.  I'm used to people using me,  They get what they want and then they set me free.  I'm discarded like a piece of trash,  Almost like if you get to close you'll get a rash.  But I'm not the diseased one, I don't treat people l
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Harder than I thought

Honestly, starting back at uni after the summer is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. In under a month I have gone from a trip to Penderyn for pollen and vegetation collection and analysis, started a community project and been to Greece (separate post to follow). So what with all this and life in general, I have already managed to fall behind. Go me! I can feel my health already deteriorating and I need to get it back on track. However, this can't be done until I have caught up on my work. But I can't do my work until I get my head straight. Therefore, I'm in a bit of a catch 22 situation. Luckily for me, this year I have the most amazing group of friends, lecturers and classmates surrounding me. They have already helped me in more ways than I think they will ever realise. The support they're giving me and the trust they have in me is so important this year. The aim for the next couple of weeks is to get back on the horse. I need to get my act back t
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2nd year 2nd chances

Hellooo, I'm back... again, attempting to fill in the hours between work and uni with something more productive than watching Netflix for ridiculous amounts of time. So, here we go I guess... Many people say that life is all about 2 nd chances. I’ve decided to stick with this philosophy for my second year of university. I’m going to attempt to put last year, my first year of uni, in the past and focus on this year. There is no point in dwelling on something that I can’t change, I may as well live as happy a life as possible. Why should I let people who are now insignificant to me (through their choice, not mine) have a negative impact on my life. Going along with the theme/title of the entry, I thought that I would give blogging another chance – even though I’ve attempted this 5+ times before now. I’m even going to give it a really good go. The main focus will be on coping with university and the everyday struggles of a depressed and anxious 20 year old. 2 nd year is goi
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